Bitchslapped

"Look, defenseless babies!" - Erwin Fletcher - Fletch

You know how I was saying I love short handed tables because you'll find people who will put their money in there with terrible hands? It's great fun, but I think I'm going to avoid entire tables of them. Here's a little background. I sit down and do my typical tight thing until I figure out what these people are all about. After two orbits, I'm seeing an AVERAGE VP$IP of over 80%. I can't make this stuff up. So, I get ready to start punishing these guys...

Riiiiiiight.

Party Poker 1/2 Hold'em (6 max, 4 handed) converter

Preflop: The_ICP is SB with Ad, Ah.
1 fold, Button calls, The_ICP raises, BB (Luckybitch) calls, Button calls.

Flop: (6 SB) 7h, 5d, 2h (3 players)
The_ICP bets, Luckybitch raises, Button folds, The_ICP 3-bets, Luckybitch calls.

Turn: (6 BB) Td (2 players)
The_ICP bets, Luckybitch calls.

River: (8 BB) 4h (2 players)
The_ICP checks, Luckybitch bets, The_ICP calls.

Final Pot: 10 BB
Main Pot: 10 BB, between Luckybitch and The_ICP.
Results:
Luckybitch shows 7s 2c (two pair, sevens and twos).
The_ICP shows Ad Ah (one pair, aces).
Outcome: Luckybitch wins 10 BB.

Nothing like getting hammered by someone who defends the friggin HAMMER to a raise.

So, I'm stinging from this, but hey, shit happens and my toes are still tappin'. A few hands later this unfolds.

Party Poker 1/2 Hold'em (6 max, 5 handed) converter

Preflop: The_ICP is BB with Kh, Ks.
UTG (Luckybitch) calls, 2 folds, SB completes, The_ICP raises, UTG (Luckybitch) calls, SB calls.

Flop: (6 SB) 5d, 5c, 9h (3 players)
SB checks, The_ICP bets, Luckybitch calls, SB folds.

Turn: (4 BB) Ac (2 players)
The_ICP bets, Luckybitch calls.

River: (6 BB) Ah (2 players)
The_ICP bets, Luckybitch raises, The_ICP calls.

Final Pot: 10 BB
Main Pot: 10 BB, between Luckybitch and The_ICP.

Results:
The_ICP shows Kh Ks (two pair, aces and kings).
Luckybitch shows 5s 9s (full house, fives full of aces).
Outcome: Luckybitch wins 10 BB.

What the fuck? That's twice now in short order. I have to admit to a little raised blood pressure now. I'm still okay, though... I've pulled the occasional small pot to keep the damage to a minimum. After a few more hands I look down and see KK again.

Party Poker 1/2 Hold'em (6 max, 6 handed) converter

Preflop: The_ICP is SB with Kc, Ks.
UTG calls, MP calls, CO calls, 1 fold, The_ICP raises, BB calls, UTG calls, MP calls, CO calls.

Flop: (10 SB) Qh, 9c, 2h (5 players)
The_ICP bets, BB calls $0.50 (All-In), UTG calls, MP folds, CO calls.

Turn: (6.75 BB) Jd (4 players, 1 all-in)
The_ICP bets, UTG calls, CO raises, The_ICP calls, UTG calls.

River: (12.75 BB) 9d (4 players, 1 all-in)
The_ICP checks, UTG checks, CO bets, The_ICP calls, UTG calls.

Final Pot: 15.75 BB
Main Pot: 6 BB, between BB, UTG, CO and The_ICP. > Pot won by BB (6 BB).
Pot 2: 9.75 BB, between UTG, CO and The_ICP.

Results:
The_ICP shows Kc Ks (two pair, kings and nines).
BB shows 2s 9s (full house, nines full of twos).
UTG shows Qc 8s (two pair, queens and nines).
CO shows Kh Td (straight, king high).
Outcome: CO wins 9.75 BB. BB wins 6 BB.

Wooot! Not only did I lose, I lost TWICE! I ran like a sissy from that table and headed for greener pastures.

Even given the hideous suckouts going on at that table, I was still able to post a nice $43 profit for the day, so I'm certainly not one to complain.

Okay, I have to go work some bonus dollars at work today. Not by choice, believe me. I will get that "month in review" post up here in the next week or so...