The Only Way Out Is Through

The last 48 hours has been a guided tour through Poker Hell.

Last night, on advice from a friend, I sucked it up and threw some money down on a $1/$2 table at Party. Sat down with a $50 buyin, having padded my Party account by $50 for this purpose, so I'm, technically, still working on this original $50.. Barely.

So, I find myself at a $1/$2 table named "Jedi Council". The irony was running thick this night, I can tell you. I sit out a few hands, and sure enough, this table is full of semi-tight/passive players. "It's payday", I'm thinking, as I place my first buck into the blind. For the next 2 hours, I looked at the stats. I had seen 16% of the flops. I had won 2% of the hands. I had won 75% of the showdowns. I had played some 170 hands. To say that I was over there collecting garbage would have been like saying Saudi Arabia has a little bit of oil to sell. Besides the blinds, I think I can count on my fingers the number of flops I saw, and almost every single one of them missed me. I got four to a flush flops at least 8 times, and I think maybe one hit, if that. I don't have the numbers in front of me, since I don't have PokerTracker registered yet. I even had someone watching my play to check for holes in my game, and he agreed that I was doing the right things. Just nothing was happening.

In two hours I had bled all but $19 of it. I left disappointed, but in full confidence that this bad string of cards had to end soon.

And that it did.

Today, I sit down at a Party 50/1. It's your typical "let's see the flop" crowd, and I bank in with my usual $25 buyin. No pre-flop raising go on at all here.. Great.. I chip in the blind and off I go. The cards aren't stellar, but I'm getting some good hands. Or so I though... Let's review what happened here..

I had managed to pick up a small pot when I hit a full house and everyone folded to my bet when I get this:

0.50/1 TexasHTGameTable (Limit) - Tue Dec 09 18:33:06 EST 2003
Table Card Room Table 1376 (Real Money) -- Seat 8 is the button
Total number of players : 9
Seat 1: pljenkins ( $24.25)
Seat 2: Ilario ( $21)
Seat 3: elmar365 ( $32)
Seat 4: Barretts ( $4.50)
Seat 5: fatboy2001 ( $53)
Seat 6: Dumkoph ( $37.25)
Seat 7: bearmartin ( $24.50)
Seat 8: RamiTheKing ( $40.25)
Seat 10: superfreakie ( $22)
superfreakie posts small blind (0.25)
pljenkins posts big blind (0.50)
Ilario posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to pljenkins [ 7h, Ah ]
Ilario checks.
elmar365 folds.
Barretts calls (0.50)
fatboy2001 folds.
Dumkoph calls (0.50)
bearmartin calls (0.50)
RamiTheKing folds.
superfreakie folds.
pljenkins checks.
** Dealing Flop ** : [ Kh, 3h, Qh ]
pljenkins checks.
Ilario checks.
Barretts checks.
Dumkoph bets (0.50)
bearmartin calls (0.50)
pljenkins raises (1) to 1
Ilario folds.
Barretts folds.
Dumkoph calls (0.50)
bearmartin calls (0.50)
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 3d ]
pljenkins bets (1)
Dumkoph raises (2) to 2
bearmartin folds.
pljenkins raises (2) to 3
Dumkoph raises (2) to 4
pljenkins calls (1)
** Dealing River ** : [ 7c ]
pljenkins bets (1)
Dumkoph raises (2) to 2
pljenkins calls (1)
** Summary **
Main Pot: $17.25 | Rake: $0.50
Board: [ Kh 3h Qh 3d 7c ]
pljenkins balance $16.75, lost $7.50 [ 7h Ah ] [ a flush, ace high -- Ah,Kh,Qh,7h,3h ]
Ilario balance $20.50, lost $0.50 (folded)
elmar365 balance $32, didn't bet (folded)
Barretts balance $4, lost $0.50 (folded)
fatboy2001 balance $53, didn't bet (folded)
Dumkoph balance $47, bet $7.50, collected $17.25, net +$9.75 [ Qd 3c ] [ a full house, Threes full of queens -- Qd,Qh,3c,3h,3d ]
bearmartin balance $23, lost $1.50 (folded)
RamiTheKing balance $40.25, didn't bet (folded)
superfreakie balance $21.75, lost $0.25 (folded)

I flop the nut flush, and get beat by a Q3o. That hurt. A Q3o. The only mistake I can see me making was I didn't check up when that second 3 hit and he started raising me. Still, I couldn't believe it. A Q3 offsuit. Get a rope. Anyway, if it ended there, it wouldn't be that bad of a night.. Oh no, my friends.. The party is just starting.

0.50/1 TexasHTGameTable (Limit) - Tue Dec 09 18:53:52 EST 2003
Table Card Room Table 1376 (Real Money) -- Seat 8 is the button
Total number of players : 9
Seat 1: pljenkins ( $14.50)
Seat 3: elmar365 ( $33)
Seat 4: Barretts ( $8)
Seat 5: fatboy2001 ( $52)
Seat 6: Dumkoph ( $58.50)
Seat 7: bearmartin ( $16.25)
Seat 8: RamiTheKing ( $39.75)
Seat 9: drled ( $20)
Seat 10: superfreakie ( $21.75)
drled posts small blind (0.25)
pljenkins posts big blind (0.50)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to pljenkins [ 7d, 7c ]
elmar365 folds.
Barretts calls (0.50)
Dumkoph folds.
bearmartin: nice hand king
bearmartin folds.
RamiTheKing calls (0.50)
drled calls (0.25)
pljenkins checks.
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 3s, 5c, 7s ]
RamiTheKing: ty
drled checks.
pljenkins bets (0.50)
Barretts calls (0.50)
RamiTheKing folds.
drled calls (0.50)
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 9h ]
drled checks.
pljenkins bets (1)
Barretts calls (1)
drled calls (1)
** Dealing River ** : [ 4h ]
drled checks.
pljenkins bets (1)
Barretts calls (1)
drled raises (2) to 2
pljenkins calls (1)
Barretts folds.
** Summary **
Main Pot: $11 | Rake: $0.50
Board: [ 3s 5c 7s 9h 4h ]
pljenkins balance $10.50, lost $4 [ 7d 7c ] [ three of a kind, sevens -- 9h,7d,7c,7s,5c ]
elmar365 balance $33, didn't bet (folded)
Barretts balance $5, lost $3 (folded)
fatboy2001 balance $52, sits out
Dumkoph balance $58.50, didn't bet (folded)
bearmartin balance $16.25, didn't bet (folded)
RamiTheKing balance $39.25, lost $0.50 (folded)
drled balance $27, bet $4, collected $11, net +$7 [ Qc 6d ] [ a straight, three to seven -- 7s,6d,5c,4h,3s ]
superfreakie balance $21.75, sits out

Yes, folks... Flopped the set, and got sucked out by the rivered gutshot by a guy who called me to the river trying for it. But wait, if you're the 5th caller, you also get a nice:

0.50/1 TexasHTGameTable (Limit) - Tue Dec 09 18:56:28 EST 2003
Table Card Room Table 1376 (Real Money) -- Seat 1 is the button
Total number of players : 8
Seat 1: pljenkins ( $10.25)
Seat 3: elmar365 ( $32.50)
Seat 4: Barretts ( $4.50)
Seat 5: fatboy2001 ( $52)
Seat 6: Dumkoph ( $62.25)
Seat 8: RamiTheKing ( $39.25)
Seat 9: drled ( $24)
Seat 10: superfreakie ( $21.75)
elmar365 posts small blind (0.25)
Barretts posts big blind (0.50)
fatboy2001 posts big blind + dead (0.75)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to pljenkins [ Kd, Kh ]
fatboy2001 checks.
Dumkoph calls (0.50)
RamiTheKing folds.
drled calls (0.50)
pljenkins raises (1) to 1
elmar365 folds.
Barretts calls (0.50)
fatboy2001 folds.
Dumkoph folds.
drled calls (0.50)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 9s, 6h, 5c ]
Barretts bets (0.50)
drled folds.
pljenkins raises (1) to 1
Barretts raises (1) to 1.50
pljenkins calls (0.50)
** Dealing Turn ** : [ Qs ]
Barretts bets (1)
pljenkins calls (1)
** Dealing River ** : [ 8s ]
pljenkins: There's no way.
Barretts bets (1)
Barretts calls all-In.
pljenkins calls (1)
Creating Main Pot with $11 with Barretts
** Summary **
Main Pot: $11 | | Rake: $0.50
Board: [ 9s 6h 5c Qs 8s ]
pljenkins balance $5.75, lost $4.50 [ Kd Kh ] [ a pair of kings -- Kd,Kh,Qs,9s,8s ]
elmar365 balance $32.25, lost $0.25 (folded)
Barretts balance $11, bet $4.50, collected $11, net +$6.50 [ 6c 6d ] [ three of a kind, sixes -- Qs,9s,6c,6d,6h ]
fatboy2001 balance $51.25, lost $0.75 (folded)
Dumkoph balance $61.75, lost $0.50 (folded)
RamiTheKing balance $39.25, didn't bet (folded)
drled balance $23, lost $1 (folded)
superfreakie balance $21.75, sits out
drled: screwed again pl

Yes, the coup de gras delivered, along with a nice parting shot from the guy who sucked me out the last time. I log out of the table in disgust and go to a $6 sit and go. Did very well, holding my own and waiting out for the fools to die... Until:

***** Hand History for Game 276656169 *****
200/400 TourneyTexasHTGameTable (NL) (Tournament 1556315) - Tue Dec 09 19:39:01 EST 2003
Table Card Room Table 1325 (Real Money) -- Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players : 5
Seat 1: Geechie (3595)
Seat 3: dgreco3917 (490)
Seat 5: goldenman (2640)
Seat 6: pljenkins (375)
Seat 8: cjfreeman (900)
cjfreeman posts small blind (100)
Geechie posts big blind (200)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to pljenkins [ Qs, Ac ]
dgreco3917 folds.
goldenman folds.
pljenkins raises (375) to 375
pljenkins calls all-In.
cjfreeman folds.
Geechie calls (175)
** Dealing Flop ** : [ 2h, 3h, 9c ]
** Dealing Turn ** : [ 5d ]
** Dealing River ** : [ 8d ]
Creating Main Pot with $850 with pljenkins
** Summary **
Main Pot: 850 |
Board: [ 2h 3h 9c 5d 8d ]
Geechie balance 4070, bet 375, collected 850, net +475 [ 7c 6c ] [ a straight, five to nine -- 9c,8d,7c,6c,5d ]
dgreco3917 balance 490, didn't bet (folded)
goldenman balance 2640, didn't bet (folded)
pljenkins balance 0, lost 375 [ Qs Ac ] [ high card ace -- Ac,Qs,9c,8d,5d ]
cjfreeman balance 800, lost 100 (folded)
pljenkins finished in fifth place.

Yes, folks.. Your intrepid host, when faced with a total all-in hand, gets called up by, of all things, a suited connector that runner-runners into a fucking straight.

Take out a gun and shoot me.

So, any minute now, I'll wake up and realize this was all a bad dream. In the last 2 days, I've managed to hand out over $56 dollars to shitheads playing such illustrious hands as those illustrated above.

There is no God.

On the upside, I played a little .25/.50 at UB. Was up $14 and change in a little under 40 minutes... So maybe there's a God, but he has an aweful sense of humor.