A More Positive EV Approach

It's hard to believe that the last post I made here was almost 5 years ago.  I was checking out the latest tracking information on here and am surprised to find that, even though this content is woefully out of date, it still gets quite a bit of traffic.  So, for those loyal fans who keep coming back to this place looking for life here's a veritable "twitch".

True to my work, I have played exactly ZERO hands of online poker for real money since my last post saying "I quit".  I did.  Of course, any hopes of actually wanting to re-ignite my mission of turning a small buy-in into a fortune ended when online poker became, for all intents and purposes, impossible to play in the United States.  As time went on, I really didn't have much passion for playing poker online anyway.  The Party(Poker) was over, and I just didn't have the passion in me to work so hard for so long for so little.  

I've played a very occasional live game, raking the very occasional pot.  I enjoy poker still, but I don't feel the drive to head to the tables like I used to.  So, I went back to my profession in the aviation industry, and things were swell, for a while...

Fast forward to the beginning of this year.  New developments, new blog.  Come on over and pick up where the story continues.  Funny how things come full circle!  

Over and Out

Well, that pretty much does it. I cannot make any traction at all in my cash games, and I'm the bubble boy in every tournament I play. I haven't had this bad of luck on the tables in a very long time.. And yes, I did use the word luck. I have lost count of the times I've made moves with anything from good to crushing win odds and came away empty.

Nothing is worth this sort of frustration. Nothing.

Anyway, I'm down to my final $7 in Pokerstars and that'll be that for there. Something isn't quite right with that site. Too many statistical longshots coming through, for and against me. You know there's a problem when I can predict not only that I'll get beat or beat someone, but on what street with scary accuracy. Stars is the king of throwing you a bone and snatching it away, too. 99 vs KK, flop gives you the miracle 9, then the turn gives HIM the miracle K. Must be some sort of sick joke, I've seen it so much.

So, unless there's a miracle in store, I think tomorrow this attempt at making $50 walk is going to be an utter failure. I'm so tired of playing at these non-productive levels anyway. Nothing quite as frustrating as finally hitting a great hand and getting action on it, only to walk away with $1.23. Weeee! Since poker isn't really fun anymore, I'm no longer amused with working my ass off for hours on end for a $0.50/hr win rate. To mitigate that, I've been playing $3.25 6-max turbo sit and goes, but with the latest string of crushing beats, that's nothing but pain and agony... So, basically, I'm out of ideas. Maybe it's just that I fucking suck at this game, but I don't know, heads up, holding top pair, statistically speaking, you should be winning more then 30% of the time, which I'm not.

I don't know how people who make a living playing this game do it. They must be masochists. I know that I, a relatively stable and happy person, am driven to throw heavy objects through my monitor when time after time I get screwed at the tables without even the common decency of being offered a reach-around.

So, to summarize, I hate this game. It's taken me a while to realize that, but truly, I hate poker. I think the only thing I might, emphasize might still like is live action tournament poker, but even that is potentially not worth it.

I'm toying with trying one more time on Bodog. I have to believe I'm again going to be farting in a windstorm, but I have a reason to try one more time there, so who knows.

I keep thinking I'm an idiot for ever pulling out the cash on my original attempt. I was actually making decent coin then. Of course, those were different times too. The Party at PartyPoker is over for us Yanks, and those were the heady days of poker when the flood of World Poker Tour wannabes were flooding like sheep into the world of online poker. I did make a fair coin off of them, to be sure, but I keep thinking what could have been if I could have just kept my interest. I mean, honestly, my skills at poker are pretty good, and I think if I'd have been able to poke my head into the $5/$10 level where not everyone is a complete tool, I could have actually done alright for myself, but alas, I made the decision to take some time off, and when I came back, the picture had changed. Party was gone, the fish either grew a brain or busted out, and now even at the loose change levels there are passable players, or at least players that don't give action on everything they see.

Anyway, word has it that Bodog is soft as a baby's butt, so I'll try once more to make this work. I'm not holding out much hope, but what the hell. It's only a game, right?

What Am I Doing?

I am starting to get the distinct feeling that the poker Gods are done with me. I'm not much for posting whiny "woe is me" posts, but after a solid month of losing, one has to wonder whether this is just running bad or if I'm just cosmically fucked.

Went to Vegas for a week in the middle of May. Thankfully, I didn't spend much time at the tables. Of my 5 days there, the only ray of light was a 6th place money finish at the afternoon NLHE tourney at the Planet Hollywood. I have to say I did play some solid poker that day, but with the amount of chips at the table, by the time we got to the final table the blinds were so high it turned into roulette with cards. At one point, I was down to my final T100 chip and managed to hail-mary a couple of double-ups and a triple-up to get back into the game. 6th place basically paid 2 to 1 on your buyin, so for 3 hours of work it's sort of crappy earnings, but I had fun and learned, so that's important.

The rest of the trip gambling wise was a sea of red. I sat down at a $1/$2 NLHE table and got my ass handed to me thanks to a couple of crushing beats. Nothing suckout-ish, just good hands running into better hands. For some reason, I just simply cannot make money playing B&M ring games. I think it has something to do with the donk level at the tables.

I got talked into playing Craps with a friend which cost me a bundle, and there's no such thing as a cheap table of blackjack on the strip, though I did do decent playing 21, in spite of my abandoning attempts to count. I'm not quite there yet to try it in live games without making it obvious I'm doing it. I can't carry on a conversation with people and remember the count.

It was a good time though. I went with a friend of mine and his girlfriend, both of whom I barely get to see, so it was a good trip. Next time I'll have to plan a little more ahead and try to play some more poker tournaments. It's hard to convince your travel companions who don't want to play a tournament to be okay with your disappearing for hours.

Anyway, it appears it's only a matter of time before I'm done with online poker... again... It's just not fun. Losing seldom is, but it's usually followed by a decent winning streak, so I am content to ride it out and wait for my luck to change, but that doesn't seem to be happening. I opened an account on Absolute Poker, put in $50 and never saw a profit there. Just crushing losses and suckouts. Ironically, they keep sending me notices telling me about the $50 bonus I have yet to unlock. Thanks, assholes. I guess it's my fault. To get "points" to unlock their bonus, you have to be involved in a hand, and my involved, they mean seeing the flop, and the rake has to be at least $0.50. So, if you're gonna play tight/aggressive poker, it'll take forever. And, if you deposited $50 and play the $.25/$.50 tables, you are NEVER going to see a $.50 rake, so you're basically, well, fucked. Thanks for the deposit! The final blow about this is, the whole reason why I deposited money at Absolute to begin with didn't pan out, because I crapped out so fast.

Good times.

I was thinking about throwing some cashish at Bodog and see what happens there. Word has it it's a fish farm the likes of Party Poker of olden days, but when you can't hit a hand if you picked it out of the deck, it doesn't matter the skill of the opponent.

So, I dunno. My bankroll at Pokerstars stands at around $20. I've been trying to gain traction playing $3.25 6-handed turbo NLHE games. I was doing very well, but not lately. The latest blow that put me out before this post... I was the dominant chip leader when I get KK. 4 people left in the game, I'm the SB. I raise 3XBB, called by BB, the second largest stack, which is about 3/4 mine. Flop comes something like J66, I put out a good bet, he raises, I shove, he insta-calls and turns over...

66, for the quads.

This is my world for the last 45 days.

So, I don't know.. Maybe if I can find someone to sponsor me I can play poker at a level that doesn't equate to roulette with cards, though with my current luck, I wouldn't put money on me.

But it's gotta turn around eventually, right?! In the mean time, I'll continue to play my ass off for $1 profits at a time. My definition of fun times, to be sure!

Plus Two, Minus One

"The only thing worse than a loser is someone who won't admit he played badly." - Mickey Rosa, 21

Been quiet lately around here. Not a heck of a lot to report.. Not playing an incredible amount of poker lately. Lost of stuff going on at work, so I've been busy with that, and I'm getting ready for Vegas, which involves trying to get my other games that I've been neglecting back in order. No doubt I plan on playing a lot of poker while I'm there, but not everyone I'm going with plays poker, so I have to do some time at the Blackjack tables and throw some Craps. Two games I do enjoy, but which have -EV. Except 21, under some circumstances, but I'm not much of a counter. I might give it a shot at the low limit tables, see how I do. I'll let you know if I get thrown out on my ass for it.

Pokerstars has a weekly freeroll to get into another tourney which gets you into their WSOP giveaway thing. It's an ultra long shot, but hey, you can't beat free, right? Anyway, I decide to give it a shot. It's no limit, and turbo format, so blinds go up every 5 minutes. You start with 1500 chips, but with the blind schedule it quickly turns into a free for all, but again, free.

Anyway, after a few rounds of jab and miss, I'm down to 1075 chips and I'm handed QQ in the small blind. Early positions raises the 30 BB to 300. Folded to me, I call it , confident that it's just gonna be me and him. To my shock, the BB shoves all 2900 of his chips out. Raiser responds by shoving the remaining 2700 of HIS chips out. I'm sitting with 775 in chips left, and I clearly HAVE to call this with the ludicrous pot odds I have, not to mention, I do have a premo hand, though against 2 it's a bit rougher. I shove, and then I suddenly realize I forgot the cardinal fucking rule of online poker.

"If you have a pocket pair, someone else does too".

Think I'm kidding, try looking at all the hands where you got a pocket pair and are able to see other hands that were mucked or beat you. Five gets you ten the majority of those hands had at least another pocket pair in them.

Anyway, I roll over my QQ. BB, the instigator of all of this, flips over a pair of 9's. Lead Off Raiser flips over AA, which surprises me not at all.

Of course, you KNOW who won the hand, and I make what might be the quickest exit I have ever made in tournament play.

Ring play wasn't much better. I did manage to fill up a boat against someone's flush, and that alone kept the day from being a financial bust, but a couple of 2 out rivers coming home to my opponents made for a basically break even day at the tables. I walked away with about $.20 more then I started with. Hey, it's not a loss!

Back in the Saddle

100 hands played at the impressive .10/.20 tables.. 2 hours exactly, with a take of a little under 4.5 BB/Hr. Still going through a rather dry spell of playable hands, but at least the hands I did get held up, which helps a lot.

Got a Vegas trip coming up next month, so I'm working out my Blackjack chops in preparation. Gotta try to figure out a poker schedule too. I'm meeting a friend out there who is also a poker player, and we're looking to get into some tournament action. If any of my fine readers have suggestions on low buy-in NLHE tournies, lemme know!

Wow.

Okay, so since last week Tuesday I have had 15 losing sessions, and 2 winning sessions. 509 hands, an average of -22.42 BB/HR. This I believe goes down as the worst slide I have had since I started playing poker. I can honestly say, after much review, that this is just a legendarily shitty run of luck. The hilariously high BB/HR slide is from hands that statistically have a better then 70% chance at the river going down in flames. I'm not going to throttle back because, eventually, this will turn around. Of course, my horribly beleaguered bankroll isn't likely to make it much further. I'm back to playing .10/.20 trying to ride this out, but even at that level, sliding at the rate of just under 23 BB/HR, the remaining $15 is gonna get sucked down pretty quick. So, one way or another, something is going to happen pretty quick. In the mean time...

My Brain Is a Tomato

Nothing new to report... The slide continues, though it has slowed down a little bit. Nothing really new to report. Same stuff, really. Decent holdings getting run down when I get them, but I've been going 20 hands at a time without playing a hand. So, instead of insightful poker banter, I leave you with the worst music video ever. Enjoy!



Just to be sure, these three were signed by Sony BMG. And the record companies wonder why they're circling the drain...